Amelia's House of Courage

It's been 3 and a half months since I last blogged. So before Marc Willie puts me on a guilt trip I wanted to write a little something. So much has happened over the past few months I could write 3 volumes and still not say it all. But I have to tell you about something I saw last week that I am still in complete and utter awe over.

As a pastor I am blessed to serve alongside some amazing people. People who go about serving the Lord in quiet, sacrificing acts of love and mercy. I have a father and daughter in my church that clean the church on Sunday nights and most are oblivious to it. I have a ladies that cook, bake, and serve in many ways for the sick, the grieving, and the hurting. I have teachers and leaders who go about their business and never complain, never whine, and never give anything less than their best.

I have an amazing media person, an amazing worship team, and an amazing group of ushers who serve unselfishly week in and week out and do it simply out of love for Jesus. I have served in some form of ministry for over 30 years and have never been so privileged to serve a group of people as these from VCC.

But in all my time let me share with you the single most courageous, selfless, thing I ever witnessed last week.

Monica Martinez is a woman in my church that is little in stature but big in God. She has a large family with 4 sons(and daughter-in-laws), 2 daughters, and a whole big brood of beautiful grandchildren. Her family takes a whole seating section of my church. One Sunday, weeks ago, I looked over and saw THREE rows of grand kids all dressed beautifully, acting respectfully, and worshiping God. Tears welled up in my eyes that morning and God reminded me how that happens: all because of a praying, believing, and powerful mother.

Tragedy struck this family last Sunday. Just before leaving for church Monica got the call no parent ever wants to get. Her daughter, Amelia, had been found dead in a home from an apparent drug overdose. Amelia was 23, with 2 beautiful children, Liana--one and three year old Isaiah. I was just about to open the revival service that evening when word came of Amelia's death. I was in so much hurt for this family, especially for Monica.

It is painful to lose anyone in your family, but there is no pain like that of losing your own child. My wife and I are acquainted with that pain and I knew this would be hard. IN fact the night before, we were in a prayer meeting with Monica where our kids were the main topic of prayer. Monica is a mighty woman of prayer. Her prayer that night was moving and anointed.

You see Amelia had come forward and received Jesus just a few weeks earlier. She was hurting, she was searching, she was trying to break free. Drug addiction is a formidable foe. The Lord heard her cry. Her friends said she started preaching to them. She had a rich heritage from her praying momma that laid a foundation for God to work in her life. But she had a moment of weakness and it cost her her life.

I am careful here because I don't want to portray this the wrong way. Sin is an awful taskmaster. We tend to go hard on the sinner and soft on the sin. The gospel goes hard on the sin and offers great mercy to the sinner. Let me just say here to some who might be reading this and you are trifling with drugs and alcohol--STOP! I can tell you instance after instance where one drink, one high was enough to cost someone dearly. In fact, it is amazing that not more of us are dead the way we have trifled with drugs and alcohol. The wages of sin is death... there IS forgiveness, there is FREEDOM from sin!

Let me get back to the story:

So as the week went on, Amelia's funeral was set for Friday and her wake all day Thursday. Monica's week was hard. She was so devastated, yet so resolute in the fact that Amelia's death would not be in vain. She greeted the hundreds of young people all day Thursday that came. So many, young men, young women, visibly shaken at Amelia's death. They came one after another, all day and all evening. She loved each one, she gave words of encouragement, and she opened her heart to share the love of God with each and every one. This hurting mother put aside her own grief and her own hurt to reach out and grab as many of these as she could and share Christ. She was exhausted by the end of the evening, yet unselfishly all she could think about were the kids.

Then at the close of Thursday night after all had went home and we were leaving, she said to me that she wanted some time during the service to share her heart. I encouraged her to go home and get some rest and let me know before the service if she really felt up to such a thing. I was kind of hoping she would change her mind. If she got up and lost it in front of that crowd it would be very hard to pull it back together. But Friday morning, 30 minutes before the service she told me she was ready to speak. I said ok and we prepared for the start of the service.

Needless to say, many scenarios were running through my mind and I just whispered a prayer and put it in God's hands. As the service opened, we read a verse, read the obit, and then I turned to Monica and introduced her to the crowd. She walked up and for 15 minutes gave the most beautiful, powerful, and compassionate plea to the young and old alike to open there hearts and let her help them turn this tragedy into triumph by giving your hurt, your addictions, and your struggles to Jesus. She never cracked, never stuttered, and never winced the whole time.

There was not a dry eye in the house--except for her. She had cried a bucket full of tears and now she was contending for the souls of young men and young women. She was pleading her case before the high court of heaven. The dictionary defines courage as a "firm mind(mental strength) in the face of danger or difficulty". The love of God oozed out of every pore of her being and the courage in her was bringing heaven to earth. I have never seen anything like it. I have never seen such strength and passion combine to speak into so many.

Truly, in our weakness. He is made strong. Because there was no weakness in her that morning only God's strength. Out of her hurt came healing. Out of her despair came hope, and out of her tears came a harvest of joy. When she finished she sat down and I went through a door she opened and shared a simple gospel message and before the service was over 8 in the service and 4 outside the service who could not get in received Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

Sunday morning in our worship service about 10 more were saved as Monica gave the call that morning. More than 20 people born again out of this because of the courage and tenacity of one woman. And this is just the beginning. What the enemy meant for evil, God is and will continue to turn for good! I told someone the other day, "the devil messed with the wrong woman when he messed with Monica!" I was right. I was so privileged to be a part of such an act of courage. I only hope God will give us all that same courage to persevere in the face of all around us to see His glory and His might!

God has set it in my heart to open our first Safe House for people needing a place to come and get saved, healed, and delivered from drugs and abusive situations. Our first house will be called "Amelia's House". It will be a house of hope, a house of faith, and a house of COURAGE! Surely her life as well as her death will NOT be in vain. Courage! Be strong and of good courage, for the Lord will deliver you!

Thank you Monica for your heart and thank you to the whole Martinez family for standing together through all of this! We love you and am so proud to be a part of your lives. May God give you, in the face of whatever you are facing the courage to believe Him for greater things!

My Top Won't Go Down!

I rolled into my driveway kind of weary and in need of a diversion. It was Saturday at 4 o'clock and my day had been filled with stress and anxiety. This was the day before my best friend and long time ministry partner Kerry Wilson would announce he was stepping down from his role of pastor for Victory Christian Center. This news rocked my world and left me kind of shell shocked. My love for this family as well as the church family left me with grave concern. How do they get through this? How will the church handle this? Then alongside of it all was the realization that his stepping down meant my stepping up and a very heavy responsibility upon my shoulders. In the natural it all seemed too much to bear and would have overwhelmed me except that somehow God gave a special impartation of grace and a great peace filled my heart. He assured me that He was going to get us ALL through this and I believed it.

This was not confidence in me or my ability, it was God-fidence and the assurance that He was going to walk us through this. God always has you covered when the unexpected happens in your life. This was a defining moment in my life and the life of the church. It is when that time comes and even though you didn't see it coming you know you are ready and prepared to take on the challenge. The path is laid out for you, yes an uphill one, but nonetheless, you know everything before you has brought you to this moment and you are ready to climb.

My daughter, who didn't even know all that was going on texted me to listen to a new Matt Redman song called "Never Once"(check it out on you tube). So I listened as he sang,

"Standing on this mountaintop looking just how far we've come,
Knowing that for every step, You were with us,
Kneeling on this battleground, seeing just how much you've done,
Knowing every victory is your power in us,
Scars and struggles on the way, but with joy our hearts can say,
Never once did we ever walk alone, Never once did you leave us on our own,
You are faithful, God, You are faithful"

Needless to say this song just wrecked me and filled me with such hope and peace that I was ready to do anything and everything to help my friend, his family, and the church through this very difficult time.

Back to my day.

All week I prayed and cried, cried and prayed for the coming Sunday and all involved. By Saturday evening I was ready for a break, a little diversion, a little fun. I decided I wanted to go to the fair and enjoy the exhibits and just walk and eat an elephant ear, walk some more, eat another elephant ear. Then for dinner have one of those sausages with onions and peppers and a elephant ear for dessert. Then come home and nurse my stomach ache from all that walking.

I pulled into the garage at home and before I even could get out of the car my neighbor was standing there in a panic. "Mike, I need help! Things are in a mess. I don't know what to do, I have never seen anything like it!" I asked him what exactly was the problem as I drug myself out of the car. "My top won't go down!" He has a little pop-up camper he just bought and cleaned it all, aired it out and was folding it all up and one of the 4 corners wouldn't collapse as he cranked it down. I must admit it was quite trite compared to all I had dealt with that day but to him it was catastrophic. I threw my laptop on the back of the car and walked over to take a look.

It was about 95 degrees and inside the camper at least 105 and to expose the parts that controlled the system we had to dismantle the whole front inside of the cabin. I am sweating, I am watching the clock tick away on my fair trip and then I find the problem. A cable, just one, mind you, jumped off the track and wedged tightly in the housing. But to get to it now we had to remove the water heater, and the seating system that surrounded it. Tick, tick, my plans are out the window. After removing the tension from the pulley and removing it I was able to dis-lodge the cable and free it up. We put it all back together and it was FIXED!

I picked up my tools, a soaking wet mess of a man, asking the Lord, "Are you mad at me?" As I put my tools away He answered, "That was a prophetic lesson. You just saw in the natural what I am going to do in the Spirt. I am about to dis-lodge the things that have gotten VCC off track and free up hearts from the tension that has drained there life." I asked the Lord if He was talking about the Wilson family or what and He assured me it was for EVERYONE! In a flash He showed how many people were "stuck" and it had nothing to do with Kerry Wilson, it was about peoples own struggles and fight. "The problem there was the roof wouldn't go down, here the roof is going up and before it is over I am going to blow the roof off this place! And by the way stop thinking it as a process--I am going to do it SUDDENLY with power!"

I have watched now God moving one by one, and people who have been wedged and locked up for months are breaking free. When I shared this story this past Wednesday night God touched many and they were set free! Not all got complete freedom, but I could see in my heart that just like when a car is stuck and you get free by rocking back and forth--God started rocking our world to get us UP and OUT! Get ready church, God is raising the roof in our lives. The things that have kept us from climbing higher are shaking up, and the glory of God is coming down!

Are you stuck? You know if you are. You know your need to go to the next level in your walk with God. Deeper love, stronger intimacy, and greater power. This is where we are going, this is our destiny, let's break free from EVERY sin and the weights that so easily get us stuck so we can RUN this race! I have been stuck at various times and seasons in my life but this is no time to be lodged by ANY thing. Hear the voice of the great Shepherd calling to you saying "GET UP, GET OUT! GET GOING! In Jesus Name AMEN!

God Bless You!

Without A ION

You may have read it two or three times. Your thinking it is a mistake or a typo. Without a ion? But it is no error but an attention grabber. There are actually 3 ion(s) you need:

1. Vision
2. Passion
3. Disposition

Why? Because without these our lives are very vanilla, maybe even mundane. You say, "I like vanilla.." I say who goes into Baskins Robbins and orders vanilla? Only a ice cream hater could do such a thing. My granddaughter and I have an ongoing battle over this. Jisele loves choclate and I always order vanilla when we go to the local soft serve place. Why? Because I am too cheap to pay the 4 bucks for the Heath Bar Blizzard I really want! Even at 6 years old she asks for a chocolate cone and then wants it dipped in multi-colored sprinkles with an added layer of crunch coat! That is the way life was meant to be lived! But most of us have suffered enough hurt, enough disappointment, enough discouragement that we are happy to take the vanilla and not reach beyond for anything else.

That is why VISION is so important. It is the revelation that my life was meant for something big--really big. Something God-sized that is beyond me and above me, but by standing on His shoulders I can do it! But life has a way of sucking that out of a person. We are made to feel small early and often on our way to 'adulthood'. Solomon said that, "without a vision, people perish..."(Pr.29:18) When a person loses there vision, when there revelation doesn't pull them UP to the next level, a man will always fall to a lower level of living. I don't think anyone makes plans to BE a loser. But the world is full of people who have suffered enough loss that they simply give up. The thought is that it is better to not reach at all than reach and be disappointed again.

Oh how we need a fresh revelation of just how big our God is and how big His plans for us are. This is not to say that BIG is the defining issue of life. It is how we define big. I know big ministries that are not making a big impact on there city. It has nothing to do with the churches size as much as the size of its' heart. I heard the story of a 13 years old girl who was essentially the only Christian in her schools after hours Youth For Christ group. She earnestly prayed for a revival at her school and God answered and through a providential work of God nearly 100 kids got born again before the end of the year. That is living big. God has something hidden in His heart FOR you! It is not hidden from you but for you. Pray and ask God for a fresh vision of what that is.

I personally believe that the only difference between success and failure in any persons life is VISION. It does not matter how many times you have been knocked down. That is part of the whole process. Getting knocked down does not call your vision into question and make it less viable-- it refines it! It re-fuels it, and rejuvenates it. If it wasn't worth fighting for, than it wan't worth living for. Then it certainly isn't worth dying for. A God-sized, God-birthed vision is something you will be willing to die for, and you may die a thousand deaths before it is completed, but NEVER give up on your dream. If Joseph's life teaches us anything it is that. His dream took many hits, many unexpected turns, even suffered at the hands of his jealous brothers. But God's plan could not, would not be left unfulfilled. Remember his words to his brothers? "You meant it for evil BUT God meant it for GOOD!" God's good trumps evil EVERY time!

When God breathes His plan, His vision for your life it lights you up on the inside. This is what we call passion. Passion is the fire that fuels your dreams. Passion will keep you going when everyone else stops. Passion will pick you up when you fall down. Passion will remind you to LOOK UP and not look out, to look to HIM and not within. Passion will motivate, stimulate, and insulate you from the coldness of this world. You cannot name one achievement on this planet that did not take passion to get done. The world is a wasteland of people who have lost there passion and zeal for life. They are punch drunk and have taken a dive into hopelessness and despair. For many the fire in them has died and the only flicker left is a memory of what used to be. But God is taking those smoking flax's and dipping them afresh in the oil of His anointing. Then He is rekindling that fire so the world can see a light that is freshly burning.

Please ask God to light you up with heaven's passion. Ask Him to send the fire and send it NOW!
You can't live without it! It goes hand in hand of vision. Where there is vision there is passion and where you see passion you will find a vision! The world is waiting.

Which brings me to my last point: DISPOSITION. Disposition is a MINDSET. So many lose it here. That is why we are told to renew our minds(RO.12:1-2) The total transformation of your mind puts you in a mindset where you will PROVE what God's will is. Because of passivity many accept just anything and everything as it comes along. But think! If you have a God-given vision, and a God-fired passion you have been removed from the status quo of this world. Thus the word dis-position. Dis means to be removed from. When God moves into your life with a vision and passion He is taking you away from your previous position where you lived and walked in harmony with the enemy of your soul and this world. You are no longer walking in earthly reality but a KINGDOM reality.

Your removal from one position places you in position with another. God's will is that we walk in a KINGDOM reality. Our mindset is to worship Jesus. This is our 'reasonable service' which is our worship. Now I am not talking about that one hour a week when you raise your hands and sing choruses to Jesus. That is important and is the will of God. But so is how you live the rest of your life the other 167 hours in a week. How we treat our families is an act of worship. How we conduct ourselves on the job, in our personal lives, and when no one else is looking--that is all worship. Without the right disposition we can undo EVERYTHING very quickly by simply letting our thoughts go aside.

Your DISPOSITION says everything about where you are but most importantly where you are GOING! Many of God's people are simply stuck--all because of there disposition. They are operating out a heart that loves the Lord but a mindset that cannot let go of present or past hurts or selfish pleasures that cut against the vision and purpose for there life. If your mindset is such that you are allowing compromise and excuses to comprise your life---STOP! The end of that is you will ultimately sell your eternal spiritual birthright like Esau for a momentary pleasure. When your heart is hard, and your vision is blurred it is easy to fall into a MINDLESS outward obedience, but inwardly you know you are just going through the motions. You are faking it and your MINDSET is such that you rationalize and justify your present position even though you know it is WRONG! You need a new disposition and it is really not hard to identify it and get victory over it--because that is a mindset too!

Listen beloved, when God plants a vision inside you know the enemy of your soul will do EVERYTHING he can to remove you from it. When God burns a fire in you the devil will do all he can to quench it. When you get a mindset to worship God in spirit and truth, ole slewfoot will try to distract you.

But in closing listen to these words of Paul, "For which cause we faint not; though our outward man persih, yet our inward man is renewed day by day. For our LIGHT affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding weight of glory; while we look NOT at the things which are seen; but at the things which are NOT seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal" 2 Cor.4:16-18


There are three things essential to a fulfilled life: 1.Vision 2.Passion 3.Disposition. These are eternal! God BLESS!

Turn AND Burn!

I heard a man say in a message the other day that young men seek significance and old men seek contribution. It is an interesting concept that I have been mulling over ever since I heard it. As a young man I wanted to make my mark. My first pastorate was before my 25th birthday, having only been born again 3 years prior. I set out to change the world--at least my part of it--with all the vigor I could muster. Pastoring in a traditional Pentecostal denomination that was stuck hard in tradition and fading memories of past glory, was hard.

I cared little for what used to be, and even less for worship of a glory that had clearly departed. What summarized the situation best for me was after the general meeting of the group in the mid '80's, a prophetic message, a call if you will, to repent came forth. It was without a doubt God's Word to save us from our present condition. I took this call very serious, very personal, and as a Divine commission from God's heart to mine. I spent coming weeks on my face weeping and crying out for God's mercy. I organized prayer meetings in coming weeks around this theme and we prayed for revival. As a district overseer for 7 or 8 churches we hosted a district convention and I put the transcribed message on the cover of the program. Every speaker was assigned topics on the theme REPENT!

It became an obsession for me. I felt like a terminal patient on total life support who needs a miracle or death is imminent. Perhaps I took it to an extreme and as I am oft to do with my personality, I took it within my own hands to "fix" what was wrong. I just could not understand how people could be so indifferent and apathetic toward this call. After all, almost every church in our state and nationally was on the decline. Church membership was down, people getting saved in our altars was down, people getting filled with the Holy Spirit was down, and every other category was heading down. I remember standing in one of the oldest churches in the state and making the statement, "If we do not get a hold of God and see revival come to OUR generation this church will close its' doors and cease to exist."

That wasn't met with favorably by the older, established crowd. In fact a plan was launched to have me removed from the pulpit. I must say I didn't fight too hard to keep that pulpit. My attitude was more shake the DUST off your feet and move on. And move on I did--but several years later that church building was sold, what people were left died or moved on, and that church no longer exists.

One of the primary leaders in the denomination pulled me aside one day and tried to tactfully call me down from my turn or burn message. When I shared with him the pathology of my mindset he said to me, "Repent? Repent for what? I am not cheating on my wife, I am not slipping out and sinning...I don't need to repent." It was clear this message was intolerable for most and I was warned to let it go or I would "lose" my effectiveness.

But my heart was broken. The call church-wide was being ignored. In a subsequent general meeting one of the most respected ministers in the group, a man who held a high office, preached a watershed message where he dissected this hardness of heart within the group and recalled this message and how it was going unheeded and the ensuing judgment that would result. He shared how in the churches of Asia Jesus sent a call out to the seven churches to repent. In one particular church, Laodecia, he said, "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish you were cold or hot. But because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spue you from my mouth. Because you say, 'I am rich and I increase, AND HAVE NEED OF NOTHING..."

The words of that overseer that reproved me echoed in my ears. "I don't NEED to repent..." This was clearly one of the single most powerful messages I have ever heard preached. It was courageous, it was accurate, and it was clear. Over the course of time though the church as a whole failed to heed this call. In the next few years it became painfully obvious that we missed God in this call. Thousands of people left our ranks. An entire crop of young preachers left as well leaving a void of leadership. I left myself deciding that working for revolution and reformation was a waste of my time and energy. I am not saying that what I did was what I should have done--only God will reveal it--but it is what I did.

Sometimes I catch myself wondering what if... But I stop because you can't live in the land of what if, we live in the land of what is. Now I am not trying to change the course of a denomination. I am not trying to turn the hearts of a entire movement. I am concentrating on my course, I am focused on my heart and seeing it turned toward the Lord. Today I am not looking for significance. I am trying to make a contribution.

To all the younger men and women of God I would like to contribute to your search for significance. First I encourage you to GO for it! Seek God with ALL your heart, and let Him fill you with a Holy FIRE to turn your world upside down. To make your mark is a goal worth seeking. Just to see this among the youth of our day is heartening. So many have given up there hope for changing the world. So many are disillusioned and discouraged. They have given up the quest for taking nations for the Gospel to having a high score in WARLORDS(forgive me for not knowing the hottest game now).

Reach for it! I have no regrets for having tried. I make no apologies for calling God's people to accountability and responsibility. Along the way I made some people mad, but some are serving God and are making an impact because I cried out. Really I never thought I was saving a denomination, but the people in it. It was not the organization I loved, but the people in it. Many of my friends are still with this church, and I am glad to say that in recent years it is starting to make a comeback. Many of the lifeless traditions have been dropped. Some of the stifling doctrine has been re-evaluated, and the leadership has humbly and hungrily opened up to God's heart for renewal.

"Is there not a cause?" Were the words of David in his youth. At the end of his life it was "How can I leave something behind for my son and my sons son?" There will always be a cause. God is raising up a young generation with a heart to serve him. These are exciting times to be alive. Let God show His strength to YOUR generation by yielding to him. But in the process do YOURSELF a favor--find a older person who can speak into your life the wisdom and council of God, and listen!

This is not to slow you down, or pull you back, or to stifle you in any way. It is to push you beyond, ignite you above, and release you unto your calling. It will help you focus, it will keep you grounded, and it will make you more effectual in your quest to change the world. Every son needs a father, every father needs a son. The most powerful prophetic word to this generation is that God will TURN the hearts of the children to the fathers and the hearts of the fathers to the children. The message is still TURN, but now instead of saying turn OR burn I am saying turn AND burn! Let the fire of the Holy One burn in YOU!

Next blog I want to tell you why this is essential for your success! God bless you, and I am praying for you to make a difference.

The Day God Ran

When I think of God, I see Him as this way cool Deity that never gets excited, never does anything rash or hurried, and never perspires. I mean He is God, right? He is always not just IN control but under control! But get this verse in Luke 15: "but when he was a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and RAN...."

This is from the story of the Prodigal Son. Jesus shows us the heart and action of the Father when one of his sons(or daughters) turns toward him to come back home. I can see an aged man, because he is a father, doing something he doesn't ordinarily do--running! Picking up each leg and making stride, panting breathlessly but determined to reach this wayward child of love. I see the look on his face--pained in one sense because running at a furious pace hurts. But beaming with joy-"my son was dead, and is alive again!" I see the embrace in all of its passion and power. A weak and defeated son, guilty and ashamed because of where he has been and what he has done. But being held in the arms of love, forgiveness, and mercy. Tears flow and wash away the sting of the sin, kisses are given soothing the shame of past failure and regret.

You see this is MY story--for I am that son, but it too is my Father's story! The day He ran to me when I thought there was no way back to Him. If I heard the voice of the accuser once I heard it one thousand times, "there is NO way back for YOU, you have gone too far." In my prodigal condition this voice came AFTER I had turned BACK toward my father's house. Yes I was trying, yes I had sinned, yes I had failed miserably. It was all true and the devil would not let me forget it.

In my turning, I was getting wearier and wearier as the guilt and condemnation mounted. But in a moment of inspiration, and Divine revelation I saw Him! It was not about me getting "back" it was Him running to me, falling on me in love and complete forgiveness. I saw the panting breath of love as He fell on me with his great power to save, power to heal, and power to restore. YES! THE DAY GOD RAN--HE RAN TO ME! He does not take our plight lightly. He does not passively wait--He is active, He is MOVING TOWARD YOU!

Now everywhere I go I see God RUNNING. He runs to help the weak, the needy, and the hurting. Now everywhere I go, it has become my mission to show people a RUNNING God who can't wait to help you!

Recently I was privileged to share at City of Life Church in St.Cloud Florida, where my daughter serves on staff. COL is an awesome church with tremendous pastors, Jeff and Amy Smith, and founding pastors Gary and Janis Smith. Their midweek service is called OASIS. Invited to share the Lord put it on my heart just to share my personal testimony with them. This church had a profound impact on my restoration but the details are for another blog.

What I want to share with you is how AWESOME God is in the after story. After preaching a sweet little Latino mother came up to me as I was leaving the sanctuary. She was in tears and gave me a big hug and thanked me for sharing. She then proceeded to tell me that as I was preaching tears began to flow from her eyes as she thought about her own prodigal son. She said she so wished he would have been there to hear the message because it was so similar to his own experience. She repeated at least twice how that while I was preaching she was wishing he had been there. I hugged her and said, Mom, keep praying and the Lord will bring him home." She said, "No, you don't understand. I cried hot tears while you preached and so longed for his salvation. Then you stopped and gave the invitation. After bowing my head in prayer you invited those who raised there hands to come forward. When I looked up there was my son in the altar!"

We both were crying then! You see what happens when God ran? He ran through me right to another and to another and to another! I'm so glad He ran. Now I am running with Him--trying to keep up. Sometimes I am breathless, sometimes I am tired, but like Forest Gump--I am runnnninnnn!

Whatever lie the enemy is telling you about you and/or to you. Know this! God is running TOWARD you and FOR you--you CAN NOT LOSE!!!!!!! This one thing is sure--once the Father sets His eyes on you--you are HIS! He is YOURS! You WILL make it!

Desire Denied?

Did you get EVERYTHING you wanted for Christmas? Regardless of how you answer that question the fact is we all had and have desires. But I am not writing to see if you had a good Christmas but to explore something a little deeper. I want you to think about your desires in general. Have you ever stopped to think about what really drives your life? What is it you really want? What gets you out of bed in the morning and gets you through the long days of difficulties and challenges? What excites you? What ignites you? What brings you pleasure?

Some may quickly assert that they live for the Lord and, "I live my life for His desire and pleasure". I used to think that. I thought that because He saved me, the least I could do is give up all my pleasures here on earth, to serve Him now and later I get heaven as a reward for what I gave up on earth. That is flawed thinking with a bad theology as well. It is meant to produce selflessness but in fact does just the opposite while producing joyless unproductive lives in those who embrace it.

Listen to these words by CS Lewis,
"If you asked twenty good men today what they thought the highest of
the virtues, nineteen of them would reply, Unselfishness. But if you
asked almost any of the great Christians of old he would have replied,
Love. You see what has happened? A negative term has been substituted
for a positive, and this is of more than philological importance. The
negative ideal of Unselfishness carries with it the suggestion not primarily
of securing good things for others, but of going without them ourselves,as if our abstinence and not their happiness was the important point. I
do not think this is the Christian virtue of Love. The New Testament
has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in
itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order
that we may follow Christ; and nearly every description of what we shall
ultimately find if we do so contains an appeal to desire.
If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our
own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing,
I submit that this notion has crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is
no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing
promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised
in the Gospels, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too
strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with
drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an
ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because
he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.
We are far too easily pleased."

You may have to read and reread his words slowly and carefully but please do so. It is pregnant with truth and power to liberate your desires to the place God intended them to be. The truth is your heart is a factory of desires. You can fight them, repress them, deny them, even make "mud pies" with them. But God gave you this capability for a reason. To glorify Him. Why make a mud pie when you can have "infinite joy"? Listen I've eaten my share of mud pies and so have most of you. But the greatest joy I've ever known is when I have set my desire toward Him and just enjoyed His blessing in my life. How do I glorify Him? By ENJOYING Him and ALL he has provided in my life.

John Piper said it best, "That God is most glorified in me when I am most
satisfied in Him continues to be a spectacular and precious truth in my mind
and heart." There is a place in God where your satisfaction in Him transcends circumstances and difficulties in your life. Paul the Apostle went through every difficulty one could imagine yet he said “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10). Can two things as opposite as these coexist in the human heart? Certainly. The enemy tries to divert and distract the human heart and its' desires by creating a sense of DIS-satisfaction through our present circumstances. It is important we find a contentment in Christ and if things are not as you like them don't settle for LESS! Let your desires drive you to Him in an unprecedented manner to find ALL He has promised to you!

His will is that you book passage on this ship called life and ENJOY the journey. This may be a strange illustration but it makes the point. I was listening to an interview from a professional football player whose team had just made the playoffs. The reporter was asking him about the next game which had no playoff implications for his team and if he thought that they should rest as many players as possible for the game seeing it didn't mean anything. His answer was revealing. He said, "We have already got our ticket to the dance but now we are playing for the best seat..." You see they had made the playoffs but a win meant a first week bye where they would get an extra week to prepare for the first playoff game.

You have already got a ticket on this cruise ship called life. Your living and fighting for a better seat! I love to sail but I don't want to settle for an INSIDE little cabin when I can have an expansive cabin with a VIEW! Face it we ALL want a better seat! A nicer room. A room with a BALCONY! Don't deny your desires, just turn them toward Him and realize that He is glorified by how much I am enjoying the trip! I hope 2011 is the year you breakout of your present circumstance and find a deep satisfaction and pleasure in the Lord. That this year you trade your inside cabin for a BALCONY STATEROOM in Jesus!

This is an attitude of the heart and not a material possession. This is not a matter of WHAT I have but WHO I am living for. This is an issue of JOY and joy is a PERSON and not a circumstance. Make Him your desire and watch Him work in your life:
"Delight thyself in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart..."

LOVESICK

Lovesick. Have you ever been lovesick? I hear this word used again and again by a worship leader named Misty Edwards that my daughter made me aware of. I love her passion and intimacy that she communicates but there is something in her music that is beyond melodies, harmonies, and lyrical composition.

In a song she does on her Fling Wide cd called "Lovesick", the words of the chorus are as follows:
"Happy am I to live a hungry life, blessed am I to thirst.
Disillusionment is my gift within, and I am blessed, I am blessed among men."

These words challenged me and spoke to me. Let me share with you why. First the word lovesick means, " in love, or missing the person one loves, so much that one is unable to act normally." First I realized I was NOT lovesick. My love for Jesus wasn't like that of a young person who in the absence of the one whom he loves acts foolishly, even irrationally. My love for Jesus had become more like that of an old married person. You know what I am talking about. The kind where you take your beloved for granted. Where the passion is replaced with passivity and the fire is just a smoldering remembrance of what used to be.

When I met my wife in High School I had love for her like that. We would spend our waking hours together every single day and then when we separated for the night I couldn't wait to get home to call and spend an hour or two with her on the phone. I remember what that feeling was like, I remember when I first came to Jesus and how I loved Him with a love like that too. He became my heart's cry. I had so wonderfully been delivered from so much I shared His love with anyone and everyone who would give me half a chance. But as I look back that love has changed as well. I became more reserved, more measured in my love. More 'mature' and self-controlled, more 'normal'.

But you know what? I miss that love. I miss that passion and fire that actually burned in my chest at times and made me act 'abnormal'. I want it back, I want to be hungry and thirsty again. Hunger is a craving or strong desire, thirst is a dissatisfaction or longing. Disillusionment is a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be. How can that be a gift? How can disappointment be a good thing?

Listen beloved to my heart. We have made church what God never intended it to be. Church is an assembly of believers who have been called out of darkness into HIS marvelous light. We assemble so that HE might be worshiped, adored, and honored. The Church is His bride and HE is the Bridegroom. The Church is not here to take the place of the Bridegroom but to facilitate the bride in finding a place to express her longing and desire for Him!

So many because we have lost this 'first love' relationship are spiritually bored, emotionally crippled, and without a clear vision toward our loving Lord and Saviour. We have lost our , 'ohhh' when He enters the room. We have substituted acts of service for hearts of passion and fire. Some would say that there is nothing wrong with an old couples love that keeps them around and faithful for the duration. But if you ask anyone in that relationship they would tell you that nothing can take the place of raw passion and love that will make you more than just faithful--but make you feel that the very beat of your heart is fueled by your lovers presence.

I am lovesick for my Beloved and my Beloved is lovesick for me! I don't want to be healed of this dis-ease. Lord fuel it drive me to you in intimacy and hunger for more of YOU. My disillusionment is causing me to look AWAY from everything else to look deeply and intently for YOU! Jesus forgive me for thinking the church could do for me what only YOU can do, for touching me the way only You can. I love YOU Lord, I am aching for YOU! I am longing for YOU! My boredom is a symptom of something far deeper and more important than just having something to do. Wake this passion up in me o Lord and cause me to behold YOUR beauty.