Lovesick. Have you ever been lovesick? I hear this word used again and again by a worship leader named Misty Edwards that my daughter made me aware of. I love her passion and intimacy that she communicates but there is something in her music that is beyond melodies, harmonies, and lyrical composition.
In a song she does on her Fling Wide cd called "Lovesick", the words of the chorus are as follows:
"Happy am I to live a hungry life, blessed am I to thirst.
Disillusionment is my gift within, and I am blessed, I am blessed among men."
These words challenged me and spoke to me. Let me share with you why. First the word lovesick means, " in love, or missing the person one loves, so much that one is unable to act normally." First I realized I was NOT lovesick. My love for Jesus wasn't like that of a young person who in the absence of the one whom he loves acts foolishly, even irrationally. My love for Jesus had become more like that of an old married person. You know what I am talking about. The kind where you take your beloved for granted. Where the passion is replaced with passivity and the fire is just a smoldering remembrance of what used to be.
When I met my wife in High School I had love for her like that. We would spend our waking hours together every single day and then when we separated for the night I couldn't wait to get home to call and spend an hour or two with her on the phone. I remember what that feeling was like, I remember when I first came to Jesus and how I loved Him with a love like that too. He became my heart's cry. I had so wonderfully been delivered from so much I shared His love with anyone and everyone who would give me half a chance. But as I look back that love has changed as well. I became more reserved, more measured in my love. More 'mature' and self-controlled, more 'normal'.
But you know what? I miss that love. I miss that passion and fire that actually burned in my chest at times and made me act 'abnormal'. I want it back, I want to be hungry and thirsty again. Hunger is a craving or strong desire, thirst is a dissatisfaction or longing. Disillusionment is a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be. How can that be a gift? How can disappointment be a good thing?
Listen beloved to my heart. We have made church what God never intended it to be. Church is an assembly of believers who have been called out of darkness into HIS marvelous light. We assemble so that HE might be worshiped, adored, and honored. The Church is His bride and HE is the Bridegroom. The Church is not here to take the place of the Bridegroom but to facilitate the bride in finding a place to express her longing and desire for Him!
So many because we have lost this 'first love' relationship are spiritually bored, emotionally crippled, and without a clear vision toward our loving Lord and Saviour. We have lost our , 'ohhh' when He enters the room. We have substituted acts of service for hearts of passion and fire. Some would say that there is nothing wrong with an old couples love that keeps them around and faithful for the duration. But if you ask anyone in that relationship they would tell you that nothing can take the place of raw passion and love that will make you more than just faithful--but make you feel that the very beat of your heart is fueled by your lovers presence.
I am lovesick for my Beloved and my Beloved is lovesick for me! I don't want to be healed of this dis-ease. Lord fuel it drive me to you in intimacy and hunger for more of YOU. My disillusionment is causing me to look AWAY from everything else to look deeply and intently for YOU! Jesus forgive me for thinking the church could do for me what only YOU can do, for touching me the way only You can. I love YOU Lord, I am aching for YOU! I am longing for YOU! My boredom is a symptom of something far deeper and more important than just having something to do. Wake this passion up in me o Lord and cause me to behold YOUR beauty.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Friday, August 20, 2010
A Summer Lost
It's been a long time since my last blog and I am not sure why. I love to write, I love to share. But I have to admit that I've been in a bit of a slump. To be honest, slump is really not the word to describe where I've been. Actually, I have been in the state of Depression, in the city of Despair, on the street of Self-pity, in the house of Pain! Wow! I can't believe I said it. The truth is so raw and so hard to admit at times, yet it brings such a liberty! For some reason we think denial is the best approach to everything and therefore like a child we close our eyes, put our hands over our faces, and say, "You can't see me". But the reality is EVERYBODY sees us, they all know our state, only they are too kind--or maybe lost in there own denial--to say anything.
Here was my journey to visit the great state of DEPRESSION. It all began with a trip to the doctor's office. At 54 years old There has been some serious abuse to my body over the years. Playing football, hockey, and baseball took its toll on my knees and other vital joints. Then working construction on building homes with steep roofs and difficult elevations took its own toll on my body. At 45 years old I started getting cortizone shots in my knees, had minor surgery to remove floating cartillage and such. Back then the orthopod recommended knee replacement surgery but I declined thinking I was too young and could surely tough this out.
But the pain went from being slight and occaisonal to severe and chronic. It got to where I couldn't even walk at times and secret thoughts of being crippled and unable to function assailed me. At the urging of my wife and others I decided it was time perhaps to get the knee fixed. I went to see a surgeon who came highly recommended and after consultation the only means to help was surgery. Quietly, secretly I feared this move but when facing the day and night pain I was in I felt like I had no other option. So we set it up.
On June 1st doctors did a total knee replacement and I spent a week in the hospital. There were some complications. The day after surgery when it was time for me to get up for the first time, I blacked out and went unconscious. They called a code and thought I was having a heart attack. It happened 2 more times that day. When I came to, all these nurses and people were in the room looking at me with a very serious look on there faces. I asked why they were all in the room and they explained how I passed out and fell back to the bed. It was surreal. I saw no bright light, I saw no Jesus coming toward me with an outstretched hand so I figured it was not death. I was moved to the heart floor and monitored and they ran a battery of tests.
It turns out is was not my heart at all. It was the morphine they had me on. It seems I am very sensitive to narcotics. When they took away the morphine things got better. The Percoset was too powerful as well it turns out and Tylenol 3 was all I took for pain. But this little ordeal got my mind working. What if? became my secret mantra. All sorts of scenarios played out in my mind and fear set up a little workshop and I began to feel really depressed. Of course I didn't give voice to my fears, I wouldn't want to share them, for that was a sure sign of weakness. So I just kept them private and allowed them to slip me further into the "dark night" of the soul.
I thought that once out of the hospital and in rehab improvement would come and things would start looking up. Then once things are getting better climbing out of a depressed state would be easy. But it didn't work that way. Improvement was not quick, easy, nor at times even measurable. When I moved from a walker to a cane the first week home, that was not seen by me to be improvement, only less weakness. After 3 weeks I started walking without the cane but again in my mind, that was not quick enough. What I thought was going to take a couple of weeks turned into THREE months. Long months, long days, and very long nights. It seemed to me to be a "summer lost".
My summer was spent in rehab, and in two sessions of exercise at home every day. I rode my bike 6 to 8 miles a day and walked my neighborhood streets daily. Yes, surgery had disrupted my normal life and nothing was as it was before. Sleep was difficult and fleeting. For 3 months I never got more than 3 hours of sleep a night. Rising at 2 o'clock in the morning gave me time to clean, to do laundry, vacuum, and to exercise. AND to visit the thoughts that were haunting me about the outcome of this surgery.
I didn't get it. My doctor and therapists were all very pleased and impressed at my progress. I was very frustrated and angry that it was taking so long to recover. In the first 2 months I was in total regret for having this surgery and felt like it was a huge mistake. But then in mid August I actually started feeling good and it seemed like the worst was behind me. Finally! My depression started to lift, my despair was leaving and I thought for the first time--I'm ok.
Now it was time to put it to the test and do some work. I decided to tear all the siding off my house and put on new. A project that required ladders, some scaffolding, and some real stress on the new knee. Everything went according to plan and without the help of anyone I completely resided my house, built a storage shed, and laid several hundred feet of stone on the front of the house. Some thought this was not a good idea. But let me explain something. Every piece of siding I nailed up was therapeutic. It was taking away the old and putting up the new. It represented to me the process that I was going through. My own confidence needed to be 'rebuilt'. My attitude needed a makeover. A the end of the day the only person who can decide for you if you are going to make it is YOU!
Many nights in the quietness of my own mind I wondered if I would ever be able to do much of anything that I was accustomed to doing again. I feared becoming permanently crippled, dependent on others, and forever bound to a life of limits. But by God's grace this is not the case. Fear, even though kept under the surface, was my constant companion through this ordeal. I wish I could tell you of my great faith and my supernatural outcome. But I cannot. I wish I could tell you how I heard God's voice through all of this, but I didn't.
So what did I learn from this "lost summer"? Nothing is really ever"lost". We just get a preset plan of what is going to happen--whether it is founded in reality or not--and when things don't go according to plan--which they seldom do--we then allow fear and worry and doubt assail us. A wise man said that the best plan sometimes is no plan. He said it like this: "Take NO thought..."
I take many thoughts, too many thoughts most of the time. Which is a good way to get into depression. A good way out? Quiet your mind, be still, and know...
Here was my journey to visit the great state of DEPRESSION. It all began with a trip to the doctor's office. At 54 years old There has been some serious abuse to my body over the years. Playing football, hockey, and baseball took its toll on my knees and other vital joints. Then working construction on building homes with steep roofs and difficult elevations took its own toll on my body. At 45 years old I started getting cortizone shots in my knees, had minor surgery to remove floating cartillage and such. Back then the orthopod recommended knee replacement surgery but I declined thinking I was too young and could surely tough this out.
But the pain went from being slight and occaisonal to severe and chronic. It got to where I couldn't even walk at times and secret thoughts of being crippled and unable to function assailed me. At the urging of my wife and others I decided it was time perhaps to get the knee fixed. I went to see a surgeon who came highly recommended and after consultation the only means to help was surgery. Quietly, secretly I feared this move but when facing the day and night pain I was in I felt like I had no other option. So we set it up.
On June 1st doctors did a total knee replacement and I spent a week in the hospital. There were some complications. The day after surgery when it was time for me to get up for the first time, I blacked out and went unconscious. They called a code and thought I was having a heart attack. It happened 2 more times that day. When I came to, all these nurses and people were in the room looking at me with a very serious look on there faces. I asked why they were all in the room and they explained how I passed out and fell back to the bed. It was surreal. I saw no bright light, I saw no Jesus coming toward me with an outstretched hand so I figured it was not death. I was moved to the heart floor and monitored and they ran a battery of tests.
It turns out is was not my heart at all. It was the morphine they had me on. It seems I am very sensitive to narcotics. When they took away the morphine things got better. The Percoset was too powerful as well it turns out and Tylenol 3 was all I took for pain. But this little ordeal got my mind working. What if? became my secret mantra. All sorts of scenarios played out in my mind and fear set up a little workshop and I began to feel really depressed. Of course I didn't give voice to my fears, I wouldn't want to share them, for that was a sure sign of weakness. So I just kept them private and allowed them to slip me further into the "dark night" of the soul.
I thought that once out of the hospital and in rehab improvement would come and things would start looking up. Then once things are getting better climbing out of a depressed state would be easy. But it didn't work that way. Improvement was not quick, easy, nor at times even measurable. When I moved from a walker to a cane the first week home, that was not seen by me to be improvement, only less weakness. After 3 weeks I started walking without the cane but again in my mind, that was not quick enough. What I thought was going to take a couple of weeks turned into THREE months. Long months, long days, and very long nights. It seemed to me to be a "summer lost".
My summer was spent in rehab, and in two sessions of exercise at home every day. I rode my bike 6 to 8 miles a day and walked my neighborhood streets daily. Yes, surgery had disrupted my normal life and nothing was as it was before. Sleep was difficult and fleeting. For 3 months I never got more than 3 hours of sleep a night. Rising at 2 o'clock in the morning gave me time to clean, to do laundry, vacuum, and to exercise. AND to visit the thoughts that were haunting me about the outcome of this surgery.
I didn't get it. My doctor and therapists were all very pleased and impressed at my progress. I was very frustrated and angry that it was taking so long to recover. In the first 2 months I was in total regret for having this surgery and felt like it was a huge mistake. But then in mid August I actually started feeling good and it seemed like the worst was behind me. Finally! My depression started to lift, my despair was leaving and I thought for the first time--I'm ok.
Now it was time to put it to the test and do some work. I decided to tear all the siding off my house and put on new. A project that required ladders, some scaffolding, and some real stress on the new knee. Everything went according to plan and without the help of anyone I completely resided my house, built a storage shed, and laid several hundred feet of stone on the front of the house. Some thought this was not a good idea. But let me explain something. Every piece of siding I nailed up was therapeutic. It was taking away the old and putting up the new. It represented to me the process that I was going through. My own confidence needed to be 'rebuilt'. My attitude needed a makeover. A the end of the day the only person who can decide for you if you are going to make it is YOU!
Many nights in the quietness of my own mind I wondered if I would ever be able to do much of anything that I was accustomed to doing again. I feared becoming permanently crippled, dependent on others, and forever bound to a life of limits. But by God's grace this is not the case. Fear, even though kept under the surface, was my constant companion through this ordeal. I wish I could tell you of my great faith and my supernatural outcome. But I cannot. I wish I could tell you how I heard God's voice through all of this, but I didn't.
So what did I learn from this "lost summer"? Nothing is really ever"lost". We just get a preset plan of what is going to happen--whether it is founded in reality or not--and when things don't go according to plan--which they seldom do--we then allow fear and worry and doubt assail us. A wise man said that the best plan sometimes is no plan. He said it like this: "Take NO thought..."
I take many thoughts, too many thoughts most of the time. Which is a good way to get into depression. A good way out? Quiet your mind, be still, and know...
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Controversy? Nah,l Just Want My Way
According to the dictionary controversy means a dispute. It literally means to stand against. Whenever we have someone in opposition to us in any form we call that a controversy. Life has many controversies. We dispute bills we owe, or mistakes in bills. I went out to eat the day with my wife and we had pizza and a salad and when the bill came it was for seventy dollars. Needless to say I won that dispute. We have disputes politically over issues facing our nation. The recent healthcare reform bill has divided this country severely and the controversy is deepening. We have controversy morally as we debate issues that divide this land and eat away at the fiber of this nation. Abortion, same sex marriage, anti-God rhetoric, even to the recent ruling that having a National Day of Prayer is 'unconstitutional'.
Then there are those personal controversies when we have a fall-out with friends or family. Husbands stand against wives, children against parents, brother against sister, and best friend against best friend. Pastor against member, boss against employee, and so on it goes. Once I remember feeling as if everyone had a controversy against me. My wife was mad at me for buying something without her consent. My kids were mad at me, my employees were planning a mutiny, and my church was giving me all kinds of problems. I noticed even the dog didn't want anything to do with me.
I went to the Lord about it in tears and begged Him to change all of those people who were giving me such a problem. In my devotion time that morning I asked God to either change them and get them right or I was going to start calling fire down from heaven on all of them. As I finished my prayer I went to the Bible reading of the day. The reading happened to be Proverbs 16. As I read down the chapter I came to verses 6 & 7. "By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil. When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with Him."
Then there are those personal controversies when we have a fall-out with friends or family. Husbands stand against wives, children against parents, brother against sister, and best friend against best friend. Pastor against member, boss against employee, and so on it goes. Once I remember feeling as if everyone had a controversy against me. My wife was mad at me for buying something without her consent. My kids were mad at me, my employees were planning a mutiny, and my church was giving me all kinds of problems. I noticed even the dog didn't want anything to do with me.
I went to the Lord about it in tears and begged Him to change all of those people who were giving me such a problem. In my devotion time that morning I asked God to either change them and get them right or I was going to start calling fire down from heaven on all of them. As I finished my prayer I went to the Bible reading of the day. The reading happened to be Proverbs 16. As I read down the chapter I came to verses 6 & 7. "By mercy and truth iniquity is purged: and by the fear of the Lord men depart from evil. When a man's ways please the Lord, he maketh even his enemies to be at peace with Him."
I realized by the Holy Spirit that God was talking to me. That MY ways--my attitudes, my actions, my thoughts, my motives, and my words, were the problem. A man's ways consist of these five areas and without realizing it God was showing me that the problem was not them but me. He reminded me how He worked in the days of Israel, when they turned from His ways and turned unto their own, how He would stir up an enemy in order to get their attention so they would turn back to Him. To see this principle at work you can look at the end of 1 Chronicles 5 when it says about some tribes of Israel that they 'played the harlot'. What that means is they committed spiritual adultery against God and worshiped false gods. Then it say God "stirred" the spirit of the king of Assyria to carry them away captive.
This 'controversy' was of there own making. It came because their hearts got turned aside and they actually found themselves standing against God and His will. This may seem hard to swallow today because we are not bowing down to any wooden images or carvings out of stone. But our 'controversies' come in a different form. Ours come in an attitude that we know is contrary to the Spirit of Christ. It can be a thought process that is destructive and enslaving but we do not cast it down and take it captive. Not only do we feed it and make room for it but we justify and excuse it as if we have a good reason to think the way we do.
They come in words that are harsh, judgmental, and self-righteous. Words reveal so much about us and our condition. For out of the heart man speaks. Motives that are self-serving and impure are at the forefront of much controversy. And finally, in actions that are clearly un-christian and ungodly, yet we excuse them because after all--we are only human and God understands.
What it represents is a controversy--an area of our life that we have not surrendered up to Christ. Something that we are holding onto and refuse to let go. It is this very area that the Holy Spirit is asking you to surrender. Are you holding to something that is a point of contention between you and God? It may seem like a small thing but if allowed to go on small things become big and they can actually cause your heart to turn against God. It is called hardening your heart in the New Testament.
"Today if you will hear His voice, do not harden your hearts.." Read the entire chapter in Hebrews three. It is a somber warning for you and I today and one we need to take seriously for ourselves and not pass off as this must be for someone else. I have been doing quite a bit of reading lately and one of the areas I have been looking at is the ministry of the Holy Spirit today in the life of the Church. He is really busy today in the ministry of what He does in us, in the Church, and in the world. He is such a awesome part of the Christian life. He has been given to us and resides INSIDE of us and has ONE desire. To reproduce the Life of Christ inside each of us.
Residing IN you is all the power, all the glory, and all the resources you need for a glorious, victorious life! Yet there is one catch--He must be given complete freedom in EVERY area of your life and you can hold nothing back from Him. For Him to reproduce the life of Christ in you He must be given complete CONTROL of your life and everything in it! Whatever you're holding back or whatever you are holding onto becomes an area of controversy that you must yield over to Him. He will NOT take it from you--you must lay it down and surrender it to His Lordship.
Let me share something very personal with you. There has been an area of my life that I have personally struggled with for years. It has to do with prayer. Not personal. private prayer. Not corporate or city-wide prayer. I have been a part of this kind of prayer for years and while I need more, it is not in this area that I struggle. It is in the simple yet powerful prayer of agreement with my wife and I.
As you know if you have followed any of my past blogs, I had a prodigal experience with God in 2004 till 2007. Much damage was done in my marriage as we nearly divorced and allowed alot of hurts to accumulate. Because Terri, my wife, is such a great person, she held onto God and to the idea of restoration even when I was doing everything I could to sabotage the relationship. Thanks to her prayers and the prayers of my daughter Cassie and her church family in Florida, and the prayers of Kerry Wilson and the VCC family, God brought me back from certain destruction. When I came back the Lord prompted me to start praying WITH my wife. Notice I said with and not for.
Intimacy needed to be rebuilt, our relationship needed healing. Normally marriages seldom survive all the junk we went through even with counseling. But I sensed the Lord telling me that until We talk to HIM about us there was no need to talk to anyone else. This is not to undermine the need or power of counseling, but to state that many people seek out counseling without seeking God and it is fruitless and futile to think that we can fix something without Divine intervention. So I went to my wife and shared with her what was on my heart and we began to get up early and pray together. Only I did not follow it through. I stopped before a week. Then I passively allowed the enemy to take that prompting and the obedience to it and remove me from it. Needless to say it allowed more inner pressure to build in our marriage until we just didn't think we could go on. So after months and months of neglect and simple disobedience built up I hit my face and cried out to God for an answer as to why things weren't working out. It occurred to me that this must be something very powerful and important for the enemy to work so hard to keep us from it.
Of course, He reminded me of His original prompting and let me know there would be no further word coming or help for that matter until I was obedient in the other. I have talked and talked to my wife over the past. I have made her many promises to do better, to be better, and to try harder. This time I dispensed with all the words and just began praying with her in the mornings for the last month. You become intimate with the people you pray for and the people you pray WITH. God over the last weeks has begun a deep and powerful work in our marriage. Walls are quietly and powerfully being removed. Anger and frustration is melting away and best of all LOVE is flowing from our hearts toward each other. Not to mention awesome answers to prayer as we agree for specific things. For example, our son, DAN, has been out of work for almost a year. He had put in some 70 applications for work. The first week we began praying together we devoted time to praying and agreeing for him a job. Within 5 days he was hired and is loving this job that God opened up for him! Praise God! In a few weeks he will be able to buy some of his own food and his own deodorant!
Seriously, I share this difficult aspect of my life for a reason. The enemy has designs against your life and home. Many a home is in deep distress today. Many individuals are in trouble within that home. Many are perplexed and troubled--seeking to talk to someone. Before you talk to anyone--talk to GOD! Prayer is the only hope for real and lasting change. God has a design for your life and home as well. We must get in agreement with Him and with each other--for if any TWO of you shall agree....as touching ANYTHING...it shall be done. I am done wanting my way, I am done with controversy because I choose to give up and give over to God! I choose to agree, I choose to obey! I choose YAWEH and not MY WAY! It is so simple yet so profound: PRAYER CHANGES THINGS because PRAYER CHANGES ME!
Monday, March 8, 2010
A Picture Worth 10,000 Words
Haiti is a nation of more than 6 million people of which over half live in and around the capital city of Port au Prince. It has had a long history of corruption and trouble. It was the first island in the Caribbean to be visited by Christopher Columbus in 1492 which was called Hispaniola.
The Spaniards exploited the island for its gold. They forced the indigenous Indians on the island to mine the gold. Those refusing to work were either killed or sold as slaves. The white man brought small pox and other infectious diseases to the island and killed off nearly all the Indian population. So they started bringing slaves over in 1517 from Africa. By 1789 nearly 500,000 slaves were being used to raise sugar, tobacco, and other crops that made the island one of the richest and most profitable of all the Caribbean.
Why this history lesson? From its' earliest beginnings this island has been exploited, mistreated, and built on evil intention. It has NEVER had peace, prosperity and rest.
Now Haiti lies in waste, its' land raped and destroyed, and the people pillaged and desperate for hope. Even in modern times the government their has been corrupt and ineffective in helping the nation find recovery and restoration. A land RICH in natural resources and yet the POOREST island in the Caribbean with a GDP of less then $800 per person per year.
So what you see in the capital building is not just a picture of a building but a visual representation of the state of the government and the people it represents. For years the country has been a United Nations experiment which could be said to be a colossal failure. Something to be said of government OF the people, BY the people, and FOR the people.
"Blessed is the NATION whose God is the Lord..." so says Scripture. The Lord has a plan for Haiti. He wants to bless and prosper these people and this land. Corruption must go, righteousness must come. God is looking for a man --AMONG THEM-- who will bring Jesus Christ as Lord over this land! This is a country whose national religion was VOODOO!!! But I believe they are ripe for a return to JESHUA! He will break their bands asunder and bring freedom from sin and sin's blight to the people.
Read Psalm 46 and pray over Haiti with me. "God is our refuge and strength, and ever present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way...and the mountains quake...GOD WILL HELP HER....Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth..."
Let God arise and all His enemies be scattered! It is time for Haiti to have revival! It is time for the people to be set free! It is time for the Church to rise up and take this land for Christ! It is time to REBUILD! Not just a building, but the entire soul and spirit of the nation! Her walls are crumbled, and her foundations are destroyed. "He raises the poor fro the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he sets them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honor. For the foundations of the earth are the Lord's...(1 Sam. 2:8)
You might say what has that got to do with me? This Church is your calling, this is our purpose. Listen to Isaiah. "Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; YOU will be called REPAIRER OF BROKEN WALLS, RESTORER OF STREETS WITH DWELLINGS" (58:12)
While walking through the ruins in Haiti it finally dawned on me--In the natural I was there to do RELIEF work. But spiritually I was there to repair and restore--not just a natural building but spiritual a house for which the Lord will INHABIT! We are called to be RE BUILDERS even when the ruins are historic and profound. I am a REPAIRER and so are YOU! It is time for a new picture, for a new day in Haiti and the rest of the world. Let us take our place and do our job!
Monday, December 28, 2009
An Open Letter To My Mom and Dad
Christmas was different this year for the Hendon family. We made a decision to not spend money we didn't have on things we didn't need. But we we did do was spend time together, laugh together, play together, we even cried together--not tears of sadness, but of joy. I have to say this Christmas was one of the best I ever enjoyed as an adult. For those of you who have been following my blog I wanted to share with you a letter I gave to my Mom and Dad on Christmas day. It was from my heart to theirs and meant a great deal to me to share it with them, and now I share it with you.....
December 25, 2009
Dear Mom & Dad,
I want to wish you both a very Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. Years past have been filled with money and gifts and this year I have none of those to offer. But I wanted to at the very least, tell you how much I love and appreciate what you two have done and how you have helped me get through a difficult time of my life.
It is not the financial help that has meant the most to me. It is something more. As I have walked through the past few years and reflect on my life experience something amazes me. You have been in all the places I have been and you made it out. This gives me strength and hope.
You lived a good part of your lives down south in financial want and yet it made you appreciate money and you have never taken it for granted. I, on the other hand, came into money and let it intoxicate me. My lust for things--bigger boats, more toys, and so on drove me to ruin as I totally mishandled what was laid before me. Yet at the end of it all you guys have been the one thing that has helped me and given me the encouragement to hang in there and not give up. For you have been through so much in your lives yet you have come OUT each and every setback in a real and powerful way.
The temptation in these life rocking experiences is to lay down and not keep moving forward. Then that experience defines you as a person and you just never get over it. There is a story in the Bible about a man called Terah. Terah is a name we don't quickly recognize as prominent in Scripture. Yet he was a key person in the history of the Jews. He was the father of Abraham, the greatest single man in the history of the Jews. You read about him breifly and his three sons in Genesis. In Genesis 11:27 it says, "This is the genealogy of Terah: Terah begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran. Haran begot Lot. 28 And Haran died before his father Terah in his native land, in Ur of the Chaldeans"
Not really much is made of this but it is one of the most telling verses in the Bible.What has happened here is one of Terah's sons--Haran-- dies in Terah's arms. You know the heart wrenching pain of holding the lifeless body of your own child in your arms and seeing them gone. It hurts--you know cause you been through it twice. The grief and the pain are deep and almost unbearable. It is important to grieve, to go through the healing process. A person has to make a decision to get beyond it, to rise above it, and to move forward. Otherwise you will get stuck there and never get over it.
In Terah's life it was in his heart to go to Canaan--the land of promise--along with his whole family, including Abraham. "And Terah took his son Abram and his grandson Lot, the son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, his son Abram’s wife, and they went out with them from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to the land of Canaan; and they came to Haran and dwelt there. 32 So the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran." (Gen.11:31-32)
Do you see what happened here? Terah starts the move to the land of promise with the entire family but he gets to a city called "Haran" which is coincendentally named after his son who died in his arms, and he can't leave this city. He decides to let this place define him. He cannot get over the hurt, cannot move on and cannot get over it so he dies there,and we never hear of him again. From there Abraham is stuck in this place with him, when God comes and says "Get up! Get out! Get on with your journey".. and of course we all know the result of his obedience to God.
You guys have been through so much in your lives together. There are so many times you could have stopped in your journey and just died there. But you refused. You have suffered the loss of children and grandchildren. You have fought cancer and life threatening accidents and injuries, you have battled personal struggles and relationships--and yet you kept moving forward. You have kept going on, you have refused to give up. Only faith can do that, only a heart that has been captured by the love of God can do that. You two are Abraham and Sarah to me. You have inspired me, challenged me, and helped me to keep moving, to keep going--to never give up no matter what!
My Christmas this year is different than any in the past years. Where before it came and went with all the presents and lavish gifts you could ask for, this year it is abounding with all the unseen yet vital things that make life worth living. My Christmas is filled with hope, with love, and with faith... and all mostly because you shown me the way by your refusal to quit, and your determination to keep moving NO MATTER WHAT!
I love you both. Thanks for your example and your life--Merry Christmas!!!
Mike
December 25, 2009
Dear Mom & Dad,
I want to wish you both a very Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. Years past have been filled with money and gifts and this year I have none of those to offer. But I wanted to at the very least, tell you how much I love and appreciate what you two have done and how you have helped me get through a difficult time of my life.
It is not the financial help that has meant the most to me. It is something more. As I have walked through the past few years and reflect on my life experience something amazes me. You have been in all the places I have been and you made it out. This gives me strength and hope.
You lived a good part of your lives down south in financial want and yet it made you appreciate money and you have never taken it for granted. I, on the other hand, came into money and let it intoxicate me. My lust for things--bigger boats, more toys, and so on drove me to ruin as I totally mishandled what was laid before me. Yet at the end of it all you guys have been the one thing that has helped me and given me the encouragement to hang in there and not give up. For you have been through so much in your lives yet you have come OUT each and every setback in a real and powerful way.
The temptation in these life rocking experiences is to lay down and not keep moving forward. Then that experience defines you as a person and you just never get over it. There is a story in the Bible about a man called Terah. Terah is a name we don't quickly recognize as prominent in Scripture. Yet he was a key person in the history of the Jews. He was the father of Abraham, the greatest single man in the history of the Jews. You read about him breifly and his three sons in Genesis. In Genesis 11:27 it says, "This is the genealogy of Terah: Terah begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran. Haran begot Lot. 28 And Haran died before his father Terah in his native land, in Ur of the Chaldeans"
Not really much is made of this but it is one of the most telling verses in the Bible.What has happened here is one of Terah's sons--Haran-- dies in Terah's arms. You know the heart wrenching pain of holding the lifeless body of your own child in your arms and seeing them gone. It hurts--you know cause you been through it twice. The grief and the pain are deep and almost unbearable. It is important to grieve, to go through the healing process. A person has to make a decision to get beyond it, to rise above it, and to move forward. Otherwise you will get stuck there and never get over it.
In Terah's life it was in his heart to go to Canaan--the land of promise--along with his whole family, including Abraham. "And Terah took his son Abram and his grandson Lot, the son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, his son Abram’s wife, and they went out with them from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to the land of Canaan; and they came to Haran and dwelt there. 32 So the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran." (Gen.11:31-32)
Do you see what happened here? Terah starts the move to the land of promise with the entire family but he gets to a city called "Haran" which is coincendentally named after his son who died in his arms, and he can't leave this city. He decides to let this place define him. He cannot get over the hurt, cannot move on and cannot get over it so he dies there,and we never hear of him again. From there Abraham is stuck in this place with him, when God comes and says "Get up! Get out! Get on with your journey".. and of course we all know the result of his obedience to God.
You guys have been through so much in your lives together. There are so many times you could have stopped in your journey and just died there. But you refused. You have suffered the loss of children and grandchildren. You have fought cancer and life threatening accidents and injuries, you have battled personal struggles and relationships--and yet you kept moving forward. You have kept going on, you have refused to give up. Only faith can do that, only a heart that has been captured by the love of God can do that. You two are Abraham and Sarah to me. You have inspired me, challenged me, and helped me to keep moving, to keep going--to never give up no matter what!
My Christmas this year is different than any in the past years. Where before it came and went with all the presents and lavish gifts you could ask for, this year it is abounding with all the unseen yet vital things that make life worth living. My Christmas is filled with hope, with love, and with faith... and all mostly because you shown me the way by your refusal to quit, and your determination to keep moving NO MATTER WHAT!
I love you both. Thanks for your example and your life--Merry Christmas!!!
Mike
Friday, December 4, 2009
Saying Goodbye To 2009
It is the last days of 2009 and WOW! what a year. It has been quite a journey. From the beginning it was one that will go down in the books as a year firsts.
For the first time in 35 years of marriage, I spent most of the first part of the year living away from home trying to sort out all of the baggage that had accumulated from my nearly 4 year prodigal journey that left my relationship with my wife strained, stained, and stilted. In the process of time all marriages go through tough times, but for the first time it really looked like my marriage was over.
I closed my business, "Heartland Home Center" due to fiscal the economy and other fiscal "issues". I had never failed at any business venture up to this point, in fact, I seemed to have the "Midas touch" when it came to business up to this time. Everything I had done in the past was very successful and extremely profitable. This venture was extremely costly and entirely futile.
Due to the failure of my business I filed bankruptcy. A very difficult pill to swallow for a man who prided himself on his excellent credit rating and business savvy. In that process I lost everything that my previous success had afforded me. A lovely home of 4,000 square feet. A Sea Ray yacht of 45 feet that slept 6, my personal assets and equities that I was counting on for future retirement. Money, comfort and security were things I just never thought about heretofore, but now things were different.
These losses don't even take into account the personal, emotional and spiritual battles that an individual faces when going through loss. Medical professionals talk about how we humans cope with loss in a process called grief. They talk how in the various stages of grief we process our loss until we can move on. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages are debatable and not necessarily experienced in a set order, I can surely testify that I have struggled with them.
My daughter used to tell me denial isn't a river in Egypt. Yet I can tell you at the beginning I kept saying to myself--"this can't be happening to me..." But it was and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, that 800 pound gorilla would not go away. For months I would not go talk to an attorney even though letters from creditors, notices from the IRS and phone call after phone call from collection agencies piled up like leaves under a huge oak tree. I kept waiting for a last minute miracle, a bailout, I even started buying lottery tickets(something I never did) thinking I can beat this. Obvious denial over a situation I let get out of control through not doing ANYTHING cause I refused to face reality and get proactive.
I spent night after night unable to sleep, unable to find peace, and unable to figure out what to do in the face of incredible adversity. Anger started creeping in like a London fog on a mid-summers night. My inward frustration and disappointment turned outward as I simmered internally over the thought of how different things would have been had God come through for me, or my wife would have stood by me, or my friends would have helped me. In this preoccupation with self and self-pity depression gripped my heart. I retreated into myself and secluded myself from everyone. I felt like Elijah after Mount Carmel and thought, "It is enough Lord, please take my life..."
This is very difficult to write. After all we don't want to hear about such struggles and defeats in a persons life. Then why write it you say? These are things better left unspoken and kept from sight. Maybe so, but for the person who is struggling today in your own mire of hurt, confusion, and loss--I want to give you some encouragement. Not simply the typical words of "hang in there" or "it's going to get better..". Not even the normal, "Don't worry--it will all work out...".
I want you to hang in there, I even believe with you that things will work out for you and get better. In my situation all of that is true. As the year draws to a close it is ending much better than it began. My marriage is being healed and is on the road to recovery. We are talking and sharing in ways that we have not for years. Our love is growing and our hearts are being knit together again after near disaster. I can say from the depths of my heart that I not only love my wife, but I like her too! Which may seem strange--but is no mystery to anyone who knows the importance of your spouse being your best friend as well as your lover. This too is a miracle!
Financially we are bouncing back and being blessed in indescribable ways. In two weeks we are moving into a home that is a testimony to God's love and faithfulness.
This home is an allegory to my life. I bought this home that was completely run down and a total mess. It has been totally re-done and is brand new on the inside. It has been done with things accumulated from here and there, things purchased, and things freely given. It has been transformed from nothing to something very special that has significance for us as a life changing testimony to the faithfulness of God. My wife called the transformation "magic", I know it to be nothing more or less than the GOODNESS of God!
But let me tell you the most important part of this whole story. Apart from the restoration of my marriage, separate from the recovery of my financial situation, and above the new home and all that goes with it--is the renewal of my faith in God. In the fact that God is enough for me. I have found that through all of this God is all I want or need. I may never 'own' another business, I may never have another yacht. A 4000 square foot home may never be in my future and money to burn and financial independence may never be mine. BUT! I don't need ANY of that to live and enjoy life. I have the ONE thing I need to live this life and be happy, content and satisfied. I have a relationship with a LIVING, LOVING, LORD--whom I love and Whom loves me. It is ENOUGH for me, in fact it is MORE than ENOUGH for ME!
I believe when He becomes ENOUGH for us, we have found the key to EVERYTHING.
Goodbye 2009, you have added much to my life--you even subtracted from my life--but at the end you brought me one more year closer to Him who is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER! God used you, 2009, in some marvelous and mysterious ways. Am I going to miss you? No, but I will forever cherish the experiences and rememeber the places we have been together!
Hello 2010! What do you hold for me? We shall soon see!
For the first time in 35 years of marriage, I spent most of the first part of the year living away from home trying to sort out all of the baggage that had accumulated from my nearly 4 year prodigal journey that left my relationship with my wife strained, stained, and stilted. In the process of time all marriages go through tough times, but for the first time it really looked like my marriage was over.
I closed my business, "Heartland Home Center" due to fiscal the economy and other fiscal "issues". I had never failed at any business venture up to this point, in fact, I seemed to have the "Midas touch" when it came to business up to this time. Everything I had done in the past was very successful and extremely profitable. This venture was extremely costly and entirely futile.
Due to the failure of my business I filed bankruptcy. A very difficult pill to swallow for a man who prided himself on his excellent credit rating and business savvy. In that process I lost everything that my previous success had afforded me. A lovely home of 4,000 square feet. A Sea Ray yacht of 45 feet that slept 6, my personal assets and equities that I was counting on for future retirement. Money, comfort and security were things I just never thought about heretofore, but now things were different.
These losses don't even take into account the personal, emotional and spiritual battles that an individual faces when going through loss. Medical professionals talk about how we humans cope with loss in a process called grief. They talk how in the various stages of grief we process our loss until we can move on. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages are debatable and not necessarily experienced in a set order, I can surely testify that I have struggled with them.
My daughter used to tell me denial isn't a river in Egypt. Yet I can tell you at the beginning I kept saying to myself--"this can't be happening to me..." But it was and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, that 800 pound gorilla would not go away. For months I would not go talk to an attorney even though letters from creditors, notices from the IRS and phone call after phone call from collection agencies piled up like leaves under a huge oak tree. I kept waiting for a last minute miracle, a bailout, I even started buying lottery tickets(something I never did) thinking I can beat this. Obvious denial over a situation I let get out of control through not doing ANYTHING cause I refused to face reality and get proactive.
I spent night after night unable to sleep, unable to find peace, and unable to figure out what to do in the face of incredible adversity. Anger started creeping in like a London fog on a mid-summers night. My inward frustration and disappointment turned outward as I simmered internally over the thought of how different things would have been had God come through for me, or my wife would have stood by me, or my friends would have helped me. In this preoccupation with self and self-pity depression gripped my heart. I retreated into myself and secluded myself from everyone. I felt like Elijah after Mount Carmel and thought, "It is enough Lord, please take my life..."
This is very difficult to write. After all we don't want to hear about such struggles and defeats in a persons life. Then why write it you say? These are things better left unspoken and kept from sight. Maybe so, but for the person who is struggling today in your own mire of hurt, confusion, and loss--I want to give you some encouragement. Not simply the typical words of "hang in there" or "it's going to get better..". Not even the normal, "Don't worry--it will all work out...".
I want you to hang in there, I even believe with you that things will work out for you and get better. In my situation all of that is true. As the year draws to a close it is ending much better than it began. My marriage is being healed and is on the road to recovery. We are talking and sharing in ways that we have not for years. Our love is growing and our hearts are being knit together again after near disaster. I can say from the depths of my heart that I not only love my wife, but I like her too! Which may seem strange--but is no mystery to anyone who knows the importance of your spouse being your best friend as well as your lover. This too is a miracle!
Financially we are bouncing back and being blessed in indescribable ways. In two weeks we are moving into a home that is a testimony to God's love and faithfulness.
This home is an allegory to my life. I bought this home that was completely run down and a total mess. It has been totally re-done and is brand new on the inside. It has been done with things accumulated from here and there, things purchased, and things freely given. It has been transformed from nothing to something very special that has significance for us as a life changing testimony to the faithfulness of God. My wife called the transformation "magic", I know it to be nothing more or less than the GOODNESS of God!
But let me tell you the most important part of this whole story. Apart from the restoration of my marriage, separate from the recovery of my financial situation, and above the new home and all that goes with it--is the renewal of my faith in God. In the fact that God is enough for me. I have found that through all of this God is all I want or need. I may never 'own' another business, I may never have another yacht. A 4000 square foot home may never be in my future and money to burn and financial independence may never be mine. BUT! I don't need ANY of that to live and enjoy life. I have the ONE thing I need to live this life and be happy, content and satisfied. I have a relationship with a LIVING, LOVING, LORD--whom I love and Whom loves me. It is ENOUGH for me, in fact it is MORE than ENOUGH for ME!
I believe when He becomes ENOUGH for us, we have found the key to EVERYTHING.
Goodbye 2009, you have added much to my life--you even subtracted from my life--but at the end you brought me one more year closer to Him who is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER! God used you, 2009, in some marvelous and mysterious ways. Am I going to miss you? No, but I will forever cherish the experiences and rememeber the places we have been together!
Hello 2010! What do you hold for me? We shall soon see!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Get Up and Get Out!
I went down a road tonight that I travel numerous times daily from my home. With all the rain we've had the last few days the road has flooded and it was closed. This is by itself, given my lack of patience, a huge source of frustration for me. What was worse was they didn't mark it before you turned to go down the road, you turned ,went some distance --only to find out you have to turn around go back and find another way. I stopped my vehicle at the barricade thinking about what I should do. Cursing the situation was not helping. The thought of going around and trying to go through in my 4 wheel drive truck even crossed my mind because I was ddetermined to get to my destination. As I made my turn around I grumbled about how the closure should have been marked before you went down the road. This delay as well as the detour really agitates me. Then the Lord used that moment to speak to me.
He reminded me of the roads I have chosen at times in my life that have only brought me to have to stop--turn around and find another way. He reminded me of the delays and detours that have frustrated His purposes being fulfilled in my life. I know in the Sovereign Reign of God His ultimate purpose will be accomplished in my life. I know that even detours are just that--detours. It does not mean you are not going to get where you were going--your just going to get there some other way.
And then there are delays. No one likes delays. In American culture we are now the microwave generation. Think about it, a cross country journey used to takes weeks. Now it is only a matter of a few hours on a jumbo jet. Yet we grumble about a twenty minute flight delay. Think about communication. Not too long ago our best form of long distance communication was a "pony" on an "express". Then the telegraph and soon to follow a telephone. I remember when a phone call took minutes with a rotary dial phone and a long distance call that always required an operator. Today, with our cellular generation, my call travels from my phone to a satellite miles up in the atmosphere and back down to earth ANYWHERE practically in the world in a matter of seconds! If my call gets dropped, my how we complain that we have to take a few seconds and do it all over again.
In the kitchen, meals that used to take hours to prepare now literally take only minutes. We can go through a drive-thru and in a few minutes pick up a entire meal for the whole family. Modern times have made us the "instant generation". Instant results are mandatory for contemporary culture. For most of these things I am personally grateful, but for the present day mindset they have brought us to--I am not. To us delays are an inconvenience, to God they are simply a part of the process--even a part of His will.
I want to encourage you that delays--like detours--do not mean you are not going to get where your supposed to be. It just means it's going to take a little longer. Do not let our American mindset get us derailed at the onset of delay, Realize that God has a building program in delays--a character building program. But also realize satan has a program in delays.
Remember Terah--Abraham's father. We all know Abraham and his significance in the program of God, but Terah received the call to "go to another land" and receive a new identity as the covenant people of God alongside of Abraham. Except why don't we ever hear about him? If Abraham is the "father" of faith, why isn't Terah the "grandfather" of faith? When we come to know Abraham in Genesis 12 he is travelling alone with the exception of his nephew Lot. But when he got the call to leave Ur of the Chaldees, he left with his WHOLE family, including his father, brother, and all the children.
I read in Genesis 12:1 where God spoke to Abraham and it syas, "And the Lord had said..." In other words in was written in a past tense. God had previously spoken and He was now re-issuing his spoken word. When He originally spoke it, it came in the context of the ENTIRE family. In Genesis 11, the Bible identifies the family as Terah, Nahor and Haran--Abrham's brothers, and Lot--Haran's son-Abraham's nephew. Unfortunately we read how Haran died in his father's arms before they left Ur. So, Terah, Nahor, Lot, and Abraham, and all their families left for Canaan to find their destiny in God's eternal promise.
But hidden away in Genesis 11 is a very powerful truth that you need to get a hold of. It says in verse 31, "and THEY went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there....and Terah died in Haran."
Haran in Hebrew means "mountaineer". Amazingly this town bears the same name as Terah's son. We don't know anything about Haran from Scripture, but names say alot about the individuals that bear them. For example, Jacob means "deceiver" and we know what he was in his character before his encounter witrh God. Haran was a mountain climber, in fact, this journey they were on would have been his joy and delight. But circumstances being what they were he never got to make the trip. But his father brought him in his heart, in fac,t no one knows how deeply Terah's grief was over his son's loss but Terah himself. Painful experiences have a way of resonating deep in our hearts and lodging there for a long, long time.
We can carry the residue of those painful hurts in a hidden place masked by smiles and thoughts of denial. A divorce, a death, a betrayal, an abuse of some sort and we are indelibly marked for life unbeknownst even to ourselves. We pronounce I am over it, it doersn't bother me, I am o.k.. But unhealed wounds, unresolved issues will always eventually have to be faced. In fact, God in His infinite mercy has detours and delays DESIGNED for this very purpose.
I personally believe God brought Terah to Haran for this express purpose. He had some unresloved issues over the death of his son--who wouldn't. When they came to Haran the Scripture says they "dwelt" there. This was not their destination, but it was a part of the trip necesarry for Terah to get this dealt with in order to get on with the future. The truth is that it is impossible to reach for tommorrow while your holding onto the past. A past hurt, a past disappointment, a past loss can and will come, it may even "delay" you but listen beloved--God has brought you there to HEAL you and set you FREE from your past so you can embrace your future.
Do you know what Terah means in the Hebrew? It literally means DELAY! Delays are inevitable as we have to deal with issues in our lives. BUT! Delays are meant to bring healing and deliverance. But if you are not careful dealys CAN be deadly. If you do NOT receive the healing balm of GILEAD and by the grace and power of God get delivered from your hurt, you could quite possibly get "stuck". How many people, like Terah, have come to "Haran" the place where they should be climbing mountains, but they are stuck--and can't seem to get up the mountain to get to God's purpose for them. Scripture says of Terah that he never got past Haran. It says sadly, "he died there."
Beloved let me encourage you to "get up" and "get out!" God came to Abraham and said exactly that. His father was stuck, but he could not let his father's hurt be his own demise. He left his father in Haran, and after a delay went to God's promise for him. I have been "stuck" in so many ways in my own life. I have "dwelt" (to make a home), where I had no business dwelling, but I tell you it is imperative that we GET UP! And get on with our destiny. Detours and delays--they are a part of the journey, but they are not our DESTINATION! They are just places along the road we must cross to GET WHERE WE ARE GOING!
Are you stuck? Are you experiencing a delay? Have you found yourself being detoured? You are not in a BAD place--you are right where the Father wants you. Allow the Holy Spirit to heal your hurts, to give you closure to your wounds, to grant you strength to let go of your past--so you can EMBRACE your future. God bless you and GET UP AND GET OUT!
I read in Genesis 12:1 where God spoke to Abraham and it syas, "And the Lord had said..." In other words in was written in a past tense. God had previously spoken and He was now re-issuing his spoken word. When He originally spoke it, it came in the context of the ENTIRE family. In Genesis 11, the Bible identifies the family as Terah, Nahor and Haran--Abrham's brothers, and Lot--Haran's son-Abraham's nephew. Unfortunately we read how Haran died in his father's arms before they left Ur. So, Terah, Nahor, Lot, and Abraham, and all their families left for Canaan to find their destiny in God's eternal promise.
But hidden away in Genesis 11 is a very powerful truth that you need to get a hold of. It says in verse 31, "and THEY went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there....and Terah died in Haran."
Haran in Hebrew means "mountaineer". Amazingly this town bears the same name as Terah's son. We don't know anything about Haran from Scripture, but names say alot about the individuals that bear them. For example, Jacob means "deceiver" and we know what he was in his character before his encounter witrh God. Haran was a mountain climber, in fact, this journey they were on would have been his joy and delight. But circumstances being what they were he never got to make the trip. But his father brought him in his heart, in fac,t no one knows how deeply Terah's grief was over his son's loss but Terah himself. Painful experiences have a way of resonating deep in our hearts and lodging there for a long, long time.
We can carry the residue of those painful hurts in a hidden place masked by smiles and thoughts of denial. A divorce, a death, a betrayal, an abuse of some sort and we are indelibly marked for life unbeknownst even to ourselves. We pronounce I am over it, it doersn't bother me, I am o.k.. But unhealed wounds, unresolved issues will always eventually have to be faced. In fact, God in His infinite mercy has detours and delays DESIGNED for this very purpose.
I personally believe God brought Terah to Haran for this express purpose. He had some unresloved issues over the death of his son--who wouldn't. When they came to Haran the Scripture says they "dwelt" there. This was not their destination, but it was a part of the trip necesarry for Terah to get this dealt with in order to get on with the future. The truth is that it is impossible to reach for tommorrow while your holding onto the past. A past hurt, a past disappointment, a past loss can and will come, it may even "delay" you but listen beloved--God has brought you there to HEAL you and set you FREE from your past so you can embrace your future.
Do you know what Terah means in the Hebrew? It literally means DELAY! Delays are inevitable as we have to deal with issues in our lives. BUT! Delays are meant to bring healing and deliverance. But if you are not careful dealys CAN be deadly. If you do NOT receive the healing balm of GILEAD and by the grace and power of God get delivered from your hurt, you could quite possibly get "stuck". How many people, like Terah, have come to "Haran" the place where they should be climbing mountains, but they are stuck--and can't seem to get up the mountain to get to God's purpose for them. Scripture says of Terah that he never got past Haran. It says sadly, "he died there."
Beloved let me encourage you to "get up" and "get out!" God came to Abraham and said exactly that. His father was stuck, but he could not let his father's hurt be his own demise. He left his father in Haran, and after a delay went to God's promise for him. I have been "stuck" in so many ways in my own life. I have "dwelt" (to make a home), where I had no business dwelling, but I tell you it is imperative that we GET UP! And get on with our destiny. Detours and delays--they are a part of the journey, but they are not our DESTINATION! They are just places along the road we must cross to GET WHERE WE ARE GOING!
Are you stuck? Are you experiencing a delay? Have you found yourself being detoured? You are not in a BAD place--you are right where the Father wants you. Allow the Holy Spirit to heal your hurts, to give you closure to your wounds, to grant you strength to let go of your past--so you can EMBRACE your future. God bless you and GET UP AND GET OUT!
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