Christmas was different this year for the Hendon family. We made a decision to not spend money we didn't have on things we didn't need. But we we did do was spend time together, laugh together, play together, we even cried together--not tears of sadness, but of joy. I have to say this Christmas was one of the best I ever enjoyed as an adult. For those of you who have been following my blog I wanted to share with you a letter I gave to my Mom and Dad on Christmas day. It was from my heart to theirs and meant a great deal to me to share it with them, and now I share it with you.....
December 25, 2009
Dear Mom & Dad,
I want to wish you both a very Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. Years past have been filled with money and gifts and this year I have none of those to offer. But I wanted to at the very least, tell you how much I love and appreciate what you two have done and how you have helped me get through a difficult time of my life.
It is not the financial help that has meant the most to me. It is something more. As I have walked through the past few years and reflect on my life experience something amazes me. You have been in all the places I have been and you made it out. This gives me strength and hope.
You lived a good part of your lives down south in financial want and yet it made you appreciate money and you have never taken it for granted. I, on the other hand, came into money and let it intoxicate me. My lust for things--bigger boats, more toys, and so on drove me to ruin as I totally mishandled what was laid before me. Yet at the end of it all you guys have been the one thing that has helped me and given me the encouragement to hang in there and not give up. For you have been through so much in your lives yet you have come OUT each and every setback in a real and powerful way.
The temptation in these life rocking experiences is to lay down and not keep moving forward. Then that experience defines you as a person and you just never get over it. There is a story in the Bible about a man called Terah. Terah is a name we don't quickly recognize as prominent in Scripture. Yet he was a key person in the history of the Jews. He was the father of Abraham, the greatest single man in the history of the Jews. You read about him breifly and his three sons in Genesis. In Genesis 11:27 it says, "This is the genealogy of Terah: Terah begot Abram, Nahor, and Haran. Haran begot Lot. 28 And Haran died before his father Terah in his native land, in Ur of the Chaldeans"
Not really much is made of this but it is one of the most telling verses in the Bible.What has happened here is one of Terah's sons--Haran-- dies in Terah's arms. You know the heart wrenching pain of holding the lifeless body of your own child in your arms and seeing them gone. It hurts--you know cause you been through it twice. The grief and the pain are deep and almost unbearable. It is important to grieve, to go through the healing process. A person has to make a decision to get beyond it, to rise above it, and to move forward. Otherwise you will get stuck there and never get over it.
In Terah's life it was in his heart to go to Canaan--the land of promise--along with his whole family, including Abraham. "And Terah took his son Abram and his grandson Lot, the son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, his son Abram’s wife, and they went out with them from Ur of the Chaldeans to go to the land of Canaan; and they came to Haran and dwelt there. 32 So the days of Terah were two hundred and five years, and Terah died in Haran." (Gen.11:31-32)
Do you see what happened here? Terah starts the move to the land of promise with the entire family but he gets to a city called "Haran" which is coincendentally named after his son who died in his arms, and he can't leave this city. He decides to let this place define him. He cannot get over the hurt, cannot move on and cannot get over it so he dies there,and we never hear of him again. From there Abraham is stuck in this place with him, when God comes and says "Get up! Get out! Get on with your journey".. and of course we all know the result of his obedience to God.
You guys have been through so much in your lives together. There are so many times you could have stopped in your journey and just died there. But you refused. You have suffered the loss of children and grandchildren. You have fought cancer and life threatening accidents and injuries, you have battled personal struggles and relationships--and yet you kept moving forward. You have kept going on, you have refused to give up. Only faith can do that, only a heart that has been captured by the love of God can do that. You two are Abraham and Sarah to me. You have inspired me, challenged me, and helped me to keep moving, to keep going--to never give up no matter what!
My Christmas this year is different than any in the past years. Where before it came and went with all the presents and lavish gifts you could ask for, this year it is abounding with all the unseen yet vital things that make life worth living. My Christmas is filled with hope, with love, and with faith... and all mostly because you shown me the way by your refusal to quit, and your determination to keep moving NO MATTER WHAT!
I love you both. Thanks for your example and your life--Merry Christmas!!!
Mike
Monday, December 28, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Saying Goodbye To 2009
It is the last days of 2009 and WOW! what a year. It has been quite a journey. From the beginning it was one that will go down in the books as a year firsts.
For the first time in 35 years of marriage, I spent most of the first part of the year living away from home trying to sort out all of the baggage that had accumulated from my nearly 4 year prodigal journey that left my relationship with my wife strained, stained, and stilted. In the process of time all marriages go through tough times, but for the first time it really looked like my marriage was over.
I closed my business, "Heartland Home Center" due to fiscal the economy and other fiscal "issues". I had never failed at any business venture up to this point, in fact, I seemed to have the "Midas touch" when it came to business up to this time. Everything I had done in the past was very successful and extremely profitable. This venture was extremely costly and entirely futile.
Due to the failure of my business I filed bankruptcy. A very difficult pill to swallow for a man who prided himself on his excellent credit rating and business savvy. In that process I lost everything that my previous success had afforded me. A lovely home of 4,000 square feet. A Sea Ray yacht of 45 feet that slept 6, my personal assets and equities that I was counting on for future retirement. Money, comfort and security were things I just never thought about heretofore, but now things were different.
These losses don't even take into account the personal, emotional and spiritual battles that an individual faces when going through loss. Medical professionals talk about how we humans cope with loss in a process called grief. They talk how in the various stages of grief we process our loss until we can move on. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages are debatable and not necessarily experienced in a set order, I can surely testify that I have struggled with them.
My daughter used to tell me denial isn't a river in Egypt. Yet I can tell you at the beginning I kept saying to myself--"this can't be happening to me..." But it was and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, that 800 pound gorilla would not go away. For months I would not go talk to an attorney even though letters from creditors, notices from the IRS and phone call after phone call from collection agencies piled up like leaves under a huge oak tree. I kept waiting for a last minute miracle, a bailout, I even started buying lottery tickets(something I never did) thinking I can beat this. Obvious denial over a situation I let get out of control through not doing ANYTHING cause I refused to face reality and get proactive.
I spent night after night unable to sleep, unable to find peace, and unable to figure out what to do in the face of incredible adversity. Anger started creeping in like a London fog on a mid-summers night. My inward frustration and disappointment turned outward as I simmered internally over the thought of how different things would have been had God come through for me, or my wife would have stood by me, or my friends would have helped me. In this preoccupation with self and self-pity depression gripped my heart. I retreated into myself and secluded myself from everyone. I felt like Elijah after Mount Carmel and thought, "It is enough Lord, please take my life..."
This is very difficult to write. After all we don't want to hear about such struggles and defeats in a persons life. Then why write it you say? These are things better left unspoken and kept from sight. Maybe so, but for the person who is struggling today in your own mire of hurt, confusion, and loss--I want to give you some encouragement. Not simply the typical words of "hang in there" or "it's going to get better..". Not even the normal, "Don't worry--it will all work out...".
I want you to hang in there, I even believe with you that things will work out for you and get better. In my situation all of that is true. As the year draws to a close it is ending much better than it began. My marriage is being healed and is on the road to recovery. We are talking and sharing in ways that we have not for years. Our love is growing and our hearts are being knit together again after near disaster. I can say from the depths of my heart that I not only love my wife, but I like her too! Which may seem strange--but is no mystery to anyone who knows the importance of your spouse being your best friend as well as your lover. This too is a miracle!
Financially we are bouncing back and being blessed in indescribable ways. In two weeks we are moving into a home that is a testimony to God's love and faithfulness.
This home is an allegory to my life. I bought this home that was completely run down and a total mess. It has been totally re-done and is brand new on the inside. It has been done with things accumulated from here and there, things purchased, and things freely given. It has been transformed from nothing to something very special that has significance for us as a life changing testimony to the faithfulness of God. My wife called the transformation "magic", I know it to be nothing more or less than the GOODNESS of God!
But let me tell you the most important part of this whole story. Apart from the restoration of my marriage, separate from the recovery of my financial situation, and above the new home and all that goes with it--is the renewal of my faith in God. In the fact that God is enough for me. I have found that through all of this God is all I want or need. I may never 'own' another business, I may never have another yacht. A 4000 square foot home may never be in my future and money to burn and financial independence may never be mine. BUT! I don't need ANY of that to live and enjoy life. I have the ONE thing I need to live this life and be happy, content and satisfied. I have a relationship with a LIVING, LOVING, LORD--whom I love and Whom loves me. It is ENOUGH for me, in fact it is MORE than ENOUGH for ME!
I believe when He becomes ENOUGH for us, we have found the key to EVERYTHING.
Goodbye 2009, you have added much to my life--you even subtracted from my life--but at the end you brought me one more year closer to Him who is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER! God used you, 2009, in some marvelous and mysterious ways. Am I going to miss you? No, but I will forever cherish the experiences and rememeber the places we have been together!
Hello 2010! What do you hold for me? We shall soon see!
For the first time in 35 years of marriage, I spent most of the first part of the year living away from home trying to sort out all of the baggage that had accumulated from my nearly 4 year prodigal journey that left my relationship with my wife strained, stained, and stilted. In the process of time all marriages go through tough times, but for the first time it really looked like my marriage was over.
I closed my business, "Heartland Home Center" due to fiscal the economy and other fiscal "issues". I had never failed at any business venture up to this point, in fact, I seemed to have the "Midas touch" when it came to business up to this time. Everything I had done in the past was very successful and extremely profitable. This venture was extremely costly and entirely futile.
Due to the failure of my business I filed bankruptcy. A very difficult pill to swallow for a man who prided himself on his excellent credit rating and business savvy. In that process I lost everything that my previous success had afforded me. A lovely home of 4,000 square feet. A Sea Ray yacht of 45 feet that slept 6, my personal assets and equities that I was counting on for future retirement. Money, comfort and security were things I just never thought about heretofore, but now things were different.
These losses don't even take into account the personal, emotional and spiritual battles that an individual faces when going through loss. Medical professionals talk about how we humans cope with loss in a process called grief. They talk how in the various stages of grief we process our loss until we can move on. The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages are debatable and not necessarily experienced in a set order, I can surely testify that I have struggled with them.
My daughter used to tell me denial isn't a river in Egypt. Yet I can tell you at the beginning I kept saying to myself--"this can't be happening to me..." But it was and no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, that 800 pound gorilla would not go away. For months I would not go talk to an attorney even though letters from creditors, notices from the IRS and phone call after phone call from collection agencies piled up like leaves under a huge oak tree. I kept waiting for a last minute miracle, a bailout, I even started buying lottery tickets(something I never did) thinking I can beat this. Obvious denial over a situation I let get out of control through not doing ANYTHING cause I refused to face reality and get proactive.
I spent night after night unable to sleep, unable to find peace, and unable to figure out what to do in the face of incredible adversity. Anger started creeping in like a London fog on a mid-summers night. My inward frustration and disappointment turned outward as I simmered internally over the thought of how different things would have been had God come through for me, or my wife would have stood by me, or my friends would have helped me. In this preoccupation with self and self-pity depression gripped my heart. I retreated into myself and secluded myself from everyone. I felt like Elijah after Mount Carmel and thought, "It is enough Lord, please take my life..."
This is very difficult to write. After all we don't want to hear about such struggles and defeats in a persons life. Then why write it you say? These are things better left unspoken and kept from sight. Maybe so, but for the person who is struggling today in your own mire of hurt, confusion, and loss--I want to give you some encouragement. Not simply the typical words of "hang in there" or "it's going to get better..". Not even the normal, "Don't worry--it will all work out...".
I want you to hang in there, I even believe with you that things will work out for you and get better. In my situation all of that is true. As the year draws to a close it is ending much better than it began. My marriage is being healed and is on the road to recovery. We are talking and sharing in ways that we have not for years. Our love is growing and our hearts are being knit together again after near disaster. I can say from the depths of my heart that I not only love my wife, but I like her too! Which may seem strange--but is no mystery to anyone who knows the importance of your spouse being your best friend as well as your lover. This too is a miracle!
Financially we are bouncing back and being blessed in indescribable ways. In two weeks we are moving into a home that is a testimony to God's love and faithfulness.
This home is an allegory to my life. I bought this home that was completely run down and a total mess. It has been totally re-done and is brand new on the inside. It has been done with things accumulated from here and there, things purchased, and things freely given. It has been transformed from nothing to something very special that has significance for us as a life changing testimony to the faithfulness of God. My wife called the transformation "magic", I know it to be nothing more or less than the GOODNESS of God!
But let me tell you the most important part of this whole story. Apart from the restoration of my marriage, separate from the recovery of my financial situation, and above the new home and all that goes with it--is the renewal of my faith in God. In the fact that God is enough for me. I have found that through all of this God is all I want or need. I may never 'own' another business, I may never have another yacht. A 4000 square foot home may never be in my future and money to burn and financial independence may never be mine. BUT! I don't need ANY of that to live and enjoy life. I have the ONE thing I need to live this life and be happy, content and satisfied. I have a relationship with a LIVING, LOVING, LORD--whom I love and Whom loves me. It is ENOUGH for me, in fact it is MORE than ENOUGH for ME!
I believe when He becomes ENOUGH for us, we have found the key to EVERYTHING.
Goodbye 2009, you have added much to my life--you even subtracted from my life--but at the end you brought me one more year closer to Him who is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY and FOREVER! God used you, 2009, in some marvelous and mysterious ways. Am I going to miss you? No, but I will forever cherish the experiences and rememeber the places we have been together!
Hello 2010! What do you hold for me? We shall soon see!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
